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How To Deal With Difficult Times
There are so many people that are suffering. That is why I want to share some insights on how to deal with difficult times. This can be helpful to help you see the glass half full instead of half empty.
Everything is just a matter of perspective. Sometimes we can get so caught up thinking negatively all the time, that we may feel that there is no hope for us. That, that is just the way things “are”, that’s how things are “always” going to be.
It doesn’t have to be this way, we just have to change how we see things.
2020 The Best Year Of My Life
To some people this might be a shocking statement…even offensive to some. I can almost hear some people say, “How can you say that? Haven’t you seen the news? There have been so many deaths, so many natural disasters, so many people loosing their jobs, etc.
When I say that 2020 was the best year of my life, it is not because everything was an easy road. Quite the opposite, it was a hellish road that lead me to a destination not often visited due the business of life,…it lead me to go even deeper within myself.
Covid19 was an unexpected gift for me. It lead me to be physically isolated from the world. Most people are suffering because they can’t go out with friends, go out to special family events, parties, etc. For me, this was the free time that I needed in my life.
We live in a very busy society that is meant to keep us from being still. We have to constantly be on the go. Even when we finally see our friends, people are on their phones hanging out with some other “online friends” avoiding being in the present moment with the friends or family members that are sitting next to them.
See it for yourself. Can you be with someone, without having to pull the phone to take a picture to “share”? Can you be truly present with who you are without having to see if they liked the picture you just shared? Can you truly enjoy the lunch you just ordered, without having to think what you are going to have for dinner?
You are not alone. The problem is that we have been taught to be anticipating the next moment. Not truly being able to appreciate this present moment. We are always living some far away moment, instead of the Now.
Happiness Comes From Within
Being stuck at home, I had to just go within. I had to surrender as my “world” was coming to an end. This meant saying goodbye to my job that I had for so many years, coworkers, routine, even ending long life family relationships. Not only was I physically separated, but many people whom I loved and were important to me, decided that they didn’t want me in their lives anymore.
When we resist “What is” we suffer. If we are like Covid19 shouldn’t have happened, those natural disasters shouldn’t have occurred, I should still have a job, I should still (fill in the blank). We are like those fishes trying to swim up the river instead of going with the flow of life. And sometimes when those fishes go against the current, they are caught and eaten by some bears.
Without having to to go birthday parties, special holidays events, etc. It free up a lot of physical and mental time. Most importantly it free me up from being around people’s negativity. There are so many energy vampires in our lives that we may not even see it.
Those are the ones that are like “ You can’t do that”, “No one in our family has accomplish (fill in the blank)”, “Who do you think you are trying so achieve those goals ?”, “We are treated so unfair at this job”, “It’s my boss’s, parent’s, government’s fault”. Can you hear that around you?
Thank you 2020 for taking those people out of my life!! That’s how I was able to hear to not waste my time and just go within.
Suffering, Our Great Teacher
We suffer because we think that life is “supposed” to be easy, that we never have to go through challenges. But life is not meant to be a field of comfy mattresses ready to catch us if we happen to accidentally fall.
Life if meant to be a hard surface, where we learn to get up every time we fall. Not blaming the surface for being hard. But thanking the surface for catching us, and using it to lift us up when we are down.
I had 2 choices:
1. Have a victim mentally and suffer with the rest of the world.
2. See what the universe was trying to tell me and go inside myself to listen.
We suffer because we are expecting our happiness to come from external factors such as our jobs, money, our partners, houses, careers, etc. When these things are taken away from us, we get this empty, something is missing in our lives feeling.
The irony, is that for some people who “have it all” also have this empty, I’m missing something in my life feeling. So from this we can see that is not a matter of material possession that will make us happy. It’s something deeper.
How Can I Be Happy?
We go through life wanting many things. Working very hard at attaining a career, a job, a great partner, a house, kids, car, etc. Always wanting more, not being satiated with what we have. The more things we get, the more dissatisfied we are.
We are projecting our happiness on something external of ourselves. I’m not saying that having a house or a loving partner is bad, or that one should not try get these things. Yes, they can bring some comfort or some happiness. But this is just on the surface. This is just temporary.
The moment we loose a loved one, or some important material possession we suffer. And that’s because we were putting all of our source of happiness on something external of ourselves. These very things are temporary, just like last night’s dream. We may have dreamed that we were in an exotic island having a great time with friends, then the alarm went off, and that appearance disappeared.
This is happening all the time, we are trying to look for happiness on temporary “dreams”. The only constant in life is impermanence. So if we hold on to external things trying to be happy, we will be in constant agony and suffering.
Though life we will loose comfort, our loved ones will go away or die, we’ll loose jobs, houses and businesses, we may even need to move to a new city or even a new country. Nothing stays the same.
Look at nature. Right now (in some parts of the world) the trees don’t have leaves any more. A few weeks ago they had beautiful yellow leaves, a few months they were green, and even before that there were flowers. If trees can’t hold on to theirs leaves, how are we expecting to hold on to all these external things such as people, events, careers, material possessions, etc.?
Connecting to Something Higher
What we are missing is the connection to something higher than ourselves. We need to connect to a higher power that is always available to us.
This is the power of divine love. Love is the most powerful force in the universe. However, most people confuse this love with the love we have for a partner, a child, pet, etc. There is a water down version of love there, but if we look closely it is mainly attachment that we have for our partner, child or pet. We love them because they are “mine”, or because they are an extension of us.
What I’m talking about is a love that is unattached, that is always available, that is given willingly to anyone whether they are “good” or “bad”. This is the love given to us by the Universe, God, the Cosmic Consciousness, the Tao, Allah, whatever you want to call it.
It has different names, because we all come from different backgrounds with different experiences. This love is so profound that is can never be fully explain with words. It would be like trying to describe chocolate to someone who has never tasted it.
Yes, we can describe chocolate, but it is not until one tastes it, that he or she will truly know what chocolate is really like.
This year thanks to the pandemic, I was able to taste “chocolate” for the first time. This love from the universe is beyond what a few words on a post could describe.
When we surrender to something higher than us miracles start to happen in our lives. I was at the lowest point of my life this year, I was so desperate that I reached out and ask God for help.
I’m not a religious person, so this was against my nature. In fact going to church was a torture to me as a child, it was traumatizing being filled with shame and guilt week after week.
I found some comfort in Buddha’s teachings, but it seemed that there was still something missing in my life.
I was missing the connection to a higher power. The connection to a love that can never be extinguished. A love that will always be there no matter what.
This connection did not happen over night. For some time now I had been working on Light Meditation, that little by little helped open my heart. It’s so simple, that it works. We sometimes over complicate things. Thinking that we have to do complex things in order to see results.
Just filled your heart with love, and love will go right in. It’s like water mixing with water. I was a little droplet of water in my own little world. By constantly meditating on love and light and asking the higher power for help, this little droplet (me) was able to go into a vast ocean of infinite love.
The Power of Love
This love is very powerful. It’s permanent and it lives everywhere.
There is no need to go a church, temple or some mystical far away mountain. In fact if you are stuck home, then this is the best place to access it.
Meditate daily, this is inner food for you mind. Then ask the universes, higher power, God, etc. for help for whatever you are facing. We are so proud, and think that we have to do everything ourselves.
When I asked for help, it felt like I had put down a heavy backpack off my shoulders. You don’t have to walk through life with heavy burdens, you can put them down.
When you meditate and fill your heart with love. It’s like being a fish and being free to swim in a vast ocean and being protected from dangers. Imagine being a bird and flying freely through the sky.
Now I know that no matter what happens, I’m going to be OK. More than OK, I will always be protected. People will come and go. Material things will appear and disappeared. All my needs will be met. I finally have a connection to a higher power that will never abandoned me. Will never mistreat me. Will never make me suffer.
Practical Advice for Dealing with Difficult Times
2020 was a rough year for many of us. The question we have to ask ourselves is do I want to continue to suffer? Or am I open to receive some higher help that can free me from my own crazy mind so I can be happy?
Here are some tips that can help you:
- Make a list of people and see what kind of energy they are bringing into your life. Are they positive? Are they supportive? Do they uplift and motivate you? Or are they energy vampires?
- Next, love yourself enough to open your eyes and see how this people are either helping you, or are keeping you from being happy with all their negativity. Now is probably the best time to let go some of those people that are draining energy out of your life.
- Be very picky with what you watch, either on TV, social media, etc. Yes, we have to know what is going on on the world, but you don’t have to be glue to see every comment that was said. Besides most of the time the media’s job is to instill fear into people’s mind. Try going social media and TV free for a weekend. Just that alone will make you feel way better. I gave my TV away almost 10 years ago, and I don’t miss it one bit.
- De-clutter your home. Let go of things that are no longer serving you. Having a clean home, will help you have a clear mind.
- Pay attention to colors in your clothes and home. Dark colors tend to make the mind depressed. Bright colors uplift the mind.
- If you have lost your job, business, career, etc. This is the time to think outside the box.
Ask this higher power to guide you. In this new season in your life, what else can you do? Have an open mind and see what answers you get.
Just a quick side note. If you feel lost and need some guidance in organizing your life, then I highly recommend taking this Free Lifebook Masterclass so you can finally have a guide map for your life.
7. Be in constant gratitude for the things you do have in your life right now, instead of dwelling on the past on the things you lost.
8. Read uplifting books what fill your soul with positivity.
9. Work on personal development. Learn what are things you can do on different areas of your life to improve them.
10. Meditate daily and ask this higher power for guidance all the time.
If you don’t know how to meditate, I would love to teach you. You can check out my Morning Meditation for Beginners page to learn more.
This year was the best year of my life because it taught me to surrender to a higher power. It taught me to let go of toxic people in my life that were not good for me. It gave me the pathway to write and share what I’m most passionate about. If I die today, I die with a happy heart, knowing that I’ll be OK since this profound loves covers and protects me where ever I go.
What if you are not ready to surrender? What if you don’t want help form a higher power. That is OK also.
In this post I’m only sharing my personal experience. Life is not an one size fits all. You have to do what works for YOU in this time in your life. Only you can decide what’s best for you. I would suggest at the very least meditating. This helps still the mind and be more present.
I hope that you will be able to have peace and love in your hearts. We don’t have to go through life suffering alone like a lost puppy. You are a child of this magnificent universe. And you are worthy and deserving of unlimited amounts of love.
Ask for help truly deeply with your heart, and be ready to see wonderful things unfold in your life.
Love and light,
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